- No matter how many times you nag at me, I will not wear that SODDING paper crown from the cracker. I look like a tit frequently enough, and I'm just going to ignore you reminding me about it, and hide it under my placement while no-one is looking.
- Yes, I can eat that much. No, I don't have worms or holes in my feet. Thank you grandma for pointing out how much I have eaten. I do realise that I've consumed enough calories to make my weightwatchers diet cry in pain, and I will hate myself when I get back to the gym at uni in the new year.
- No, I don't want to go for a 'bracing walk'. I'm part of the 'yoof of today', and frankly, I'm happy sleeping it off after dinner.
- Yes, I know I was in the Brownies, but I do not stand and give the Brownie salute everytime I hear the national anthem anymore. No, I stopped that when I left the Brownies aged 10, and I'm now 22.
- Finally, yes, I can manage a second helping of Christmas Pudding. Please refer to point 2 before you say anything!
On the good side I have got some self-restraint. I was purchased 3 large tins of chocolates this year, which if I open I will demolish in one sitting. Therefore, I will be saying nothing to my family, taking the forsaken things back to uni, and taking them with me next time I go as an observer to an ambulance station. They can gain the weight!
PS: I wonder what boxing day will be like at work in the land of the chavs tomorrow!