It is generally inadvisable to:
- smoke while standing at the bar. Especially when I have already asked you to move away from the bar with your cigarette. Especially when you have used some particularly nasty words and even offered to show me somewhere to insert said cigarette. Generally this is not a wise move to make, as I will laugh when you get barred.
- look down your nose at me because I work behind a bar. I've just had a pay rise and I enjoy my job immensely. In fact, my part time makes me more in a year than my student loan. Just because I work to pay my tuition fees does not make me a bad person, and there are worse things I have done for a living.
- grab the glass collectors arse as she walks past, especially if that glass collector is me. You aren't brave or clever, as you waited until I had an armful of pint glasses. This action on your part while get you, a) a slap, b) barred, or c) both. I also will never serve you again, and neither will any of the female bar staff - on principal.
- scowl at me or use expletives when I ask you to move. I only ask because I have 24 pint glasses stacked up my arm and above my head. I am keen to get them into the glass washer, not least because my arms hurt. There is also a good chance that I will drop them on an unsuspecting customer, and if you annoy me by standing in my way, it may increase the chances of this customer being you.
- click your fingers to get my attention across the bar. I will ignore you and so will all the other staff.
- spill beer down me and then laugh. I will take your pint and get the door staff to escort you out of the building - preferably into the rain.
Did I mention how much I enjoy my job??