- Why do elderly patients always know where to grab and exactly how hard to do it? Also, how can you see to grab my left breast in the dark? I can't see you grabbing me, so how are you so damned accurate??
- Why is it that as soon as I grab a cup of coffee a call bell goes off, or a patient falls out of bed?
- Why does the call bell make me feel guilty for not moving quicker?
- How come, after quite a few A&E shifts (of days and nights) I still haven't seen someone with something inserted into an orifice?
- Why is every Philipino nurse pregnant?
- How come I always get wee splashed in my face?
30 August 2007
29 August 2007
26 August 2007
I've been feeling pretty shitty all day today. Not a hangover, before you comment.
I've been having hot and cold spells, muscular and joint pain and generally feeling really run down.
My father, thinking he's being clever, suggested that maybe it was because I'd been sitting in front of the computer, and had 'caught a virus'. Oh how very amusing.
It means that I've either caught something from a patient while I've been at work, or stress has finally caught me up.
I had my resit recently, and unless I pass it, I'm out of medical school. So no stress there or owt. Anyway, it's in the lap of the gods now, and there's nowt I can do to change it. But I guess stressing won't help me. I suppose I could always be the most qualified auxiliary nurse in the hospital. That would be fun....
24 August 2007
I'm afraid it's a tad too late for the flesh tunnel Cal, it's already well on its way. Don't worry though, it's well covered.... I also don't intend for it to be a permanent fixture, and I don't intend to have anything like this , think something a tad smaller and more discrete.
At this particular moment in time I am pinching WiFi at the train station (again) while waiting to get home. My train is at noon, which means that the chances of me staying awake until then are decreasing rapidly.
I have some interesting stuff planned for the next week, but more will become clear if someone ever answers their emails (you know who you are...).
An interesting A&E night was had last night, whereby I was taught how to do ECGs. How long I will retain this information in my brain for remains to be seen, but I'm more than prepared to try again.
Otherwise I'm fine. I had my monthly check up for the anti-depressants yesterday, and it was a locum rather than my normal GP.
She asked me if I'd ever tried to commit suicide. I hope she knew I was joking when I said, given my biomedical sciences background and medical education, that I wouldn't try, I would succeed.
Maybe that's a topic I shouldn't be flippant about with the doctor. But having worked in A&E for around 10 shifts now, I see a lot of people who take overdoses of paracetamol and then call for help. This is my opinion, but that's not a suicide attempt. That's a call for help. And that's just not me.
I have my blog and my friends to vent my spleen on. And thankfully, the friends I have made through this blog have proven to be amazing. So you know who you all are. Hugs and Kisses to all of you.
OK, I really need to sleep now. I'm getting soft and soppy.
23 August 2007
I'm waiting for a train to take me back to the Southern regions, but it appears to be delayed. By 65 minutes. That is a hell of a lot of small talk.
All is fine though, until my mother utters the immortal words:
'why can I see daylight through that earring?'
Balls balls balls.
21 August 2007
You see, when I was at Download in June I had a piercing done. Nothing sensational, just another lobe piercing. Simple, right?
I recently had another one done through the cartilage at the top. Which would be well and good, if I'd actually got round to telling my parents.
Despite the fact that I'm almost 24 years old, my parents are still very against piercings and tattoos. And despite the fact that it is in fact my body, I'm being made to feel very deceitful.
Ho Hum, guess the tattoo will just have to wait a couple more years..
(and at least they haven't spotted the flesh tunnel I'm growing yet...)
And my tent is now sitting on the lawn at home trying to dry (and failing due to further rain...)
It's all good. I'm heading back to Yorkshire today for a dentist's appointment, so I shall have unbridled internet access (my parents finally caved and got WiFi!!!)
17 August 2007
I've just finished a 10 hour shift in Accident and Emergency.
I've spent most of the night doing pregnancy tests and splashing my face with other people's wee (by accident I might add).
And at noon today, I shall be heading off to V festival in Staffordshire....
...... for reasons that I'm sure will feel a lot better after some sleep.
So if you see me, say Hi! I will probably be wearing a cowboy hat!
15 August 2007
14 August 2007
I guess that’s why I love martial arts; you have to perform on the grading exam, the tournament or whatever. If you don’t, you fail. Simple.
OSCEs are very similar. You get either 5 or 10 minutes per station to perform your little heart out and vomit back the text book you’ve been eating for the last month.
Let me explain something first…. First year OSCEs are meant to introduce you to the style of the exam. However, they are not mocks, and they do count.
8 stations, 1 rest break. Some stations were 5 minutes and a couple were 10 (sadly not the rest break….).
The theory is that each different station lies behind a curtain or a door. Pinned to the door or the wall near the curtain is your scenario and your instructions. 1 minute to read the instructions and 5/10 minutes to act your socks off and do as you’ve been learning.
I have never ever known an hour to go so fast in all of my life. It felt like one minute I was heading in, and the next I was leaving. If only lectures could go so fast.
With the exception of the Nelly The Elephant station (BLS) and the ‘talk to the consultant’ station, all of the rest of the patients were real.
The ‘talk to the consultant’ station was meant to be the biggest challenge, yet I managed to fluke it….Basically, you were given a piece of paper with a set of lab results and basic history from the patient and asked to interpret it according to what you’d learnt so far in medical school. I’m pretty sure this might have been harder had it not been something I’d studied intensively during my MSc in Human Health. I guess my luck will eventually fade.
Anyway, the most daunting hour of my year was over, and I oddly came out with a huge grin on my face!
Not quite as huge as the grin on my face when I got the results though….108/120 with full marks on 2 stations. Pass mark for the year was 85.
13 August 2007
Last night was a prime example of a seemingly normal night shift (for me anyway!) until it all went a bit wrong.
Between one horridly hallucinating 16 year old boy who had OD'd on goodness knows what and ended up being sat on by 3 security staff and being sedated (it took 2 lots of tablets, lorazepam and haloperidol in the end...) and several elderly patients with dementia, it turned out to be an incredibly noisy night shift.
I now have a splitting headache starting, and ended the shift by being told to F$#k off by a patient, it was a wonderful night....Typical medical assessment unit.
So now I am off to get a bus home and fall into bed... at least until 1.30PM when I apparently have a pain clinic appointment....
01 August 2007
Later today I'm going to head into the shops and see if I can manage to make £10 get me a week's worth of groceries...
...then I'm back at work again tomorrow for a morning of plastic surgery outpatients.
Friday I have a day booked out with an ECP and am hoping to get some more interesting experience through that.. more after Friday.
New house is still minus the internet, so posts will be desperately sporadic I'm afraid!