25 December 2005

Ho Bloody Ho!

Christmas with the rellies brings its usual joys. Farting, arguments and the big afternoon snore, to name but a few.
Santa seemed to excel himself this year, bringing a silver charm bracelet, some silk pyjamas, a spangly electric toothbrush and an estee lauder makeup set. What can I say - I have expensive tastes! I was also gifted with a lovely amount of money, which I have already mentally spent about 4 times in the space of 8 hours. I think I will purchase some new rimless spectacles and some snowboarding gear, ready for the recommencement of lessons over the holiday period.
As usual though, I can invariably find something to whine about:
  1. No matter how many times you nag at me, I will not wear that SODDING paper crown from the cracker. I look like a tit frequently enough, and I'm just going to ignore you reminding me about it, and hide it under my placement while no-one is looking.
  2. Yes, I can eat that much. No, I don't have worms or holes in my feet. Thank you grandma for pointing out how much I have eaten. I do realise that I've consumed enough calories to make my weightwatchers diet cry in pain, and I will hate myself when I get back to the gym at uni in the new year.
  3. No, I don't want to go for a 'bracing walk'. I'm part of the 'yoof of today', and frankly, I'm happy sleeping it off after dinner.
  4. Yes, I know I was in the Brownies, but I do not stand and give the Brownie salute everytime I hear the national anthem anymore. No, I stopped that when I left the Brownies aged 10, and I'm now 22.
  5. Finally, yes, I can manage a second helping of Christmas Pudding. Please refer to point 2 before you say anything!

On the good side I have got some self-restraint. I was purchased 3 large tins of chocolates this year, which if I open I will demolish in one sitting. Therefore, I will be saying nothing to my family, taking the forsaken things back to uni, and taking them with me next time I go as an observer to an ambulance station. They can gain the weight!

Merry Christmas,



PS: I wonder what boxing day will be like at work in the land of the chavs tomorrow!


manpreet said...

Merry Christmas. Sounds like a typical one!

Anonymous said...

Well...my folks gave me a set of bathroom scales. I think they were trying to tell me something... hmm..