Networking pt 1

*Disclaimer: I'm not saying that this a widespread trend, but I have seen it happening here*

I've been noticing recently that the people on this course are very competitive. It was to be expected I suppose - fighting into medical school breeds for competitive people in general. There seems to almost be a culture of out-doing each other and sneaking around to get access to different opportunities against one another.

I know of first year medical students who are members of sporting teams who use their affiliation with others to gain shadowing time in surgery (and let's remember we've only been medical students for around 2 months now!). It surprises me, but it obviously means I'm going to have to up the ante.

I'm not afraid of networking, and (if I say so myself) I'm actually quite good at it. Which leads me onto my recent experience.........

But I guess you'll have to wait for that.

Away from keyboard

I've decided to take a couple of days away at my old university this week. Only on reading week anyway.

More when I'm back

Merys Christmas

What does every self-respecting pissed off girl do? She goes shopping. Alone. At Christmas.

Big Mistake!

I'm starting to feel a little bah-bloody-humbug at the moment, and will not be sending very many cards out this year as they are an attempt by the card companies to kill rainforests and rob me of my money.

As it happens I had to buy some individual cards anyway. (Why do people have birthday's at this time of year? Have they no decency???) £10+ in a card shop....why? And why in the name of Christmas did I buy a card from the dog to my parents?? They're going to think I've cracked up. Hell, I even think I've cracked up!

Laughter

To combat feeling generally pissed off, I went to my martial arts class after uni today and did some floor fighting. It's the first time I've done any ground fighting and I was concerned I'd feel panicked and stressed when fighting a bloke.

Turns out I giggle a lot.

Mind you, it's rather hard not to when a bloke has his crotch about 3 inches from your face and you can't seem to fight your way out of it.

Sometime's it's so difficult being the only female in the class....

To answer a few questions raised....

"I'm sure you missed stuff in your first year of your first degree, and whilst to you it's all old hat, lots of these people are drinking heavily and experiencing independence for the first time." Matthew

...Actually I didn't. If I had a group session the following day I either wouldn't be out drinking the night before, or drinking very lightly/soft drinks only, and having an earlyish night. But then again why should I bother to care anymore, the rest of my year thinks it's acceptable. Our PBL and team work structure here relies on the TEAM as a whole. If you don't turn up or turn up drunk or hungover you're no use to anyone.

"If you don't fuck up and miss PBL or other group work (I missed about 5 PBLs last year, and 1 this year through hangovers - admittedly this year all my pbls have been in the afternoon) then you're a better man than most of us." Matthew

Woman actually, but I know what you mean. And no, the only PBLs I've missed this year were due to a sick family member in Yorkshire that I had to go and see. Slightly more serious than a self-inflicted hangover and I still felt guilty about missing it.

"I for one would put the burden of the first step on grads, in Freshers week, when they're are 18 year olds who've done nothing like this before, you have a reference point, you will clearly be less nervous, and hence if you are willing to come out and talk to them then, you'll probably find you don't get so segregated later." Matthew

I did go out in fresher's week. I went out a lot. But I appreciate that I only went out because I'm 23 years old and knew no-one. I don't have family here and I don't have friends here. Personally, my friends here range from 18 to 45 and I don't really see a difference between them, but many people do. My personal favourites at the moment are the 'wannabe grads'. The beautiful clique of 2 or 3 grads and a 'tagger on' who likes everyone to think that they're a grad because they took a couple of years out and the grad in question is cool. Very worrying.

"there are some people on my course too whom I look at and think, "And you want to be a doctor someday??"" Calavera

We have an alarming amount of those people on my course. People who turn up to important sessions with actors (where we were told to dress as on placement) in jeans and t-shirts, boobs a-stray and thong flashing. People who regularly skip mandatory stuff because they're too up themselves to attend, and are; 'so, like, Oh My God - I'm at university now. Isn't that just the place to have a good time?'

"the work was a bit of a chore but ultimately rewarding because it's what I wanted to do." Hospital Phoenix

I'm seriously beginning to doubt if it is what I want to do. Hence why I'm not getting any satisfaction from it. I didn't expect an easy ride here, but I feel we're being pushed too hard too fast, and if I'm struggling now, what's it going to be like in 2, 3, 4 years time? Sink or swim I suppose.

"Take a break over Christmas and you'll feel a lot better." Gerry

I'd love to my dear, but I simply can't afford to. I have exams to revise for, OSCE's to sort and a job to hold down. I can't afford to not work and I can't afford to be picky about shifts so I have to take anything and everything on offer.
I also have a grandmother to keep an eye on and regularly visit now she's recuperating at home at last.

---------------------------------

Matthew, this wasn't a rant at you I promise, but your long comment brought a lot of issues forward to be raised. Thank you for that !

Small steps

Frankly, I'm hoping that my current feelings of complete and utter disdain for this course are simply due to a lack of sleep and too much work.

At the moment, I don't want to come back after Christmas. I know of course that I will. I know that I won't give in (at least I hope that I won't) and I'll keep on plodding along until I fail or something drastic happens.

I'm tired. Very very tired. And I'm getting fed up of the arrogance of some of the people on my course. People who look down their nose at graduates and who take for granted what they have. Graduates can be stuck-up idiots too, but those of us who really had to fight for our places try not to take them for granted. Just because you're 18 years old, at university for the first time and have a huge overdraft - does not mean it's right or fair to skip group work and plenaries for the sake of your hangover (repeatedly).

I'm sick of the cliques, the bitching and the backbiting. I'm fed up of the 'mightier than thou' attitude many medics adopt towards biomedical science students (I was there, and it used to piss me off). And mostly, I'm fed up of petty med school bureaucracy. I'm fed up of bitchy emails to the entire year about the action of the few. I'm fed up of filling in 95 forms just to get time off for a doctor's appointment (and then having to explain why - because I'm a medic and we should be prepared to discuss things!) and I'm fed up of this place in general.

I'm past the point of crying. I'm past the point of giving a shit I thing. I just hope it's an end of term thing, or else I'm screwed. I want to quit.

Because I'm nice

Another new one for you

Apathy

I guess I'm going to have to stay here now I've paid some of my fees and bought a med school hooded top. Sadly I have the most appalling case of apathy at the moment.

I have an absolutely enormous amount of work to do, but I'm procrastinating and sitting at the computer instead. I simply cannot face the amount of work I have to do!

This is not the best attitude to have with a very busy week ahead and an OSCE* looming...




*OSCE = objective structured clinical examination = clinical skills exam, usually testing how you speak to patients and do basic skills.

Go look!

I found a new blog (well new to me anyway) called Musings of a disheartened doctor.

Please go and read...

Sad but true....

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN UNIVERSITY TOO LONG WHEN...

You actually like doing laundry at home where the washing
machines work.

Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

You'd rather clean than study especially if an essay is due.

"Oh shit how did it get so late!" comes out of your mouth at
least once a night.

Parents' cooking becomes something you desire, not avoid.

You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soap operas
especially neighbours and Hollyoaks.

You know the pizza boy by name and don't even need to read the
menu.

You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.

You live for getting mail.

Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.

Prank phone calls become funny again.

You start thinking and sounding like your friends and your
accent becomes a hybrid of West Country, Surrey and general
Northern.

Highlighters are the coolest things on earth.

Rearranging your room is your favourite pastime.

Rubbish cheap £1 shops are so cool.

The weekend lasts from Thursday to Monday.

---------

I think my friends have too much time on their hands to keep emailing me these!