30 November 2005

Previous incarnations

Mister Hand has posed an interesting question with regards to what previous jobs I've had that may be worse than bar work.

Cleaning toilets for a living in an old people's home wasn't the best job in the world, but it kept me out of trouble. I guess you get used to the smell after a while, probably because it follows you around like an old friend.

I have been the annoying person who hands you a leaflet in the city centre, I've done market research for people and I've worked in sales.

I've also been a lab technician and a manager, and above all my jobs my bar work is most preferred.

Bar work has simple rules - mainly relating to the law, and if people are rude to me I get to remove their drink. Simple.


Apparently I can speak other languages. Unfortunately my friends didn't manage to record exactly what I was saying, what language it was in, or understand any of it. I managed to be asleep for the entire duration, so I only have their word for it.

It's news to me! Apparently I sounded completely fluent and it definitely wasn't French, Spanish or German. The only thing that I can presume is that too much martial arts has lead me to start shouting commands in Korean. Who knows....

It doesn't actually suprise me, as my friends have told me before that they've had entire conversations with me while I was sleeping, but they never mentioned other languages.

Maybe I'm like Jason Bourne in the Bourne Identity?? (NB: you will have to have read the book rather than seen the film to understand the reference.)

There's absolutely no wonder that I'm always tired is there? It's hard work keeping up with all these foreign languages!

29 November 2005

...and speaking of work


Bar etiquette (part 2)

It is generally inadvisable to:
  1. smoke while standing at the bar. Especially when I have already asked you to move away from the bar with your cigarette. Especially when you have used some particularly nasty words and even offered to show me somewhere to insert said cigarette. Generally this is not a wise move to make, as I will laugh when you get barred.
  2. look down your nose at me because I work behind a bar. I've just had a pay rise and I enjoy my job immensely. In fact, my part time makes me more in a year than my student loan. Just because I work to pay my tuition fees does not make me a bad person, and there are worse things I have done for a living.
  3. grab the glass collectors arse as she walks past, especially if that glass collector is me. You aren't brave or clever, as you waited until I had an armful of pint glasses. This action on your part while get you, a) a slap, b) barred, or c) both. I also will never serve you again, and neither will any of the female bar staff - on principal.
  4. scowl at me or use expletives when I ask you to move. I only ask because I have 24 pint glasses stacked up my arm and above my head. I am keen to get them into the glass washer, not least because my arms hurt. There is also a good chance that I will drop them on an unsuspecting customer, and if you annoy me by standing in my way, it may increase the chances of this customer being you.
  5. click your fingers to get my attention across the bar. I will ignore you and so will all the other staff.
  6. spill beer down me and then laugh. I will take your pint and get the door staff to escort you out of the building - preferably into the rain.

Did I mention how much I enjoy my job??

22 November 2005


I'm stressed, more than ever.

I'm sitting waiting for my students to return home from a night on
the tiles and set the fire alarm off.

I'm waiting for the information to sink into my skull.

I'm deciding whether hitting myself with a journal will allow the information to pass, like energetic osmosis into my neurones.

I'm consuming far too much caffeine for productive work.

I'm struggling against scientists' writers block to write the last bloody essay

I'm looking at my desk and wondering if its surface will ever see the light of day again

I'm waiting to fail my masters

19 November 2005


I think it's fair to say that I may be starting to feel the pressure now. My eyes hurt, my hands are shaking from too much caffeine, and my asthma's kicking off with a vengeance because the skirting boards in my flat have finally been painted and the fumes are making me cough. In fact, at the moment I sound like I smoke 40 a day, and feel like it too.
I will be very, very pleased when I finish my exams, my coursework and this entire masters, but I must focus on the short term goal of passing the current modules so that I can go and see Harry Potter at the cinema.
On the plus side, I was on call last night and everything was quiet as a mouse with laryngitis. Sometimes I really love my students - they make me smile. They know I'm studying hard at the moment, and they were baking cookies yesterday. An hour later the ladies came and knocked on my door offering their wares. If only I wasn't on a diet at the moment, I could have demolished some fatty chocolatey cookies.
The diet is working though, and I've lost 6lbs. I'm now only 1lb over a healthy weight, and I aim to lose another stone. It's not proving difficult to diet at the moment, its proving harder to eat enough because I'm consuming so much caffeine!
Anyway, I'm going to go and eat weight watchers pizza and chill for an hour before I hit the books again.
PS: I still haven't finished all my essays.

17 November 2005

Please note...

..the current time of this blog.

No, I haven't falsified it. I have just 90% finished one essay, and my will to work is fading, along with my caffeine levels.

I am calling it a morning now, as I have a lecture in 6 hours, and it would appear that I am to get a little over 3 hours sleep before the alarm clock chorus starts.

Goodnight and good morning
Your knackered student Merys

15 November 2005

Things to do....(part1)

Today I have to:
  1. Write an essay on human helminth infections (worms to you and me)
  2. Wash my keys after some moron spilt sambuca on them at work last night
  3. Unpack my shopping
  4. Iron my clothes
  5. Tidy my desk
  6. Write up a lab report that counts 50% towards my module mark
  7. Write a review of some journals
  8. Finish my application to the local ambulance service for some more observing (although I've been rejected from another Paramedic Science course so I don't know why I'm bothering!)
  9. Do some revision for impending exams
  10. Eat something
  11. Phone Herts and find out why they rejected me from their paramedic course
  12. Do some washing
  13. Tidy the flat because the floor is a distant memory
  14. Find my bar uniform
  15. Sort out my lecture notes
  16. ...and finally, sleep.

As you can see, I have a busy day ahead of me. It's a shame that it's already 2 o'clock and none of the above has yet been done.

13 November 2005

Taking a quick break from revision....

Men See You As Choosy

Men notice you light years before you notice them

You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky

You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter

It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

I am....

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.

Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.

You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.

You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

11 November 2005

Thank You

As I'm sitting here today, writing this message, I feel the need to say Thank You.
Thank You to everyone who has served in the armed forces, especially those who have been a part of any conflict, and especially to those who fought in either of the two World Wars.

Both of my grandfathers fought in World War 2, one in the navy, and one in the army. Both are now deceased, yet becoming more forgotten everyday for their effort in the war.

Today has an extra significance, considering that Grandad Jones died exactly one year ago today, on armistice day 2004. He even left his home country to fight in WW2, to help defend a country which he adopted as his home.

And, with tears rolling down my cheeks, i can't help but curse myself for forgetting that today was not only armistice day, but the end of an era.

An extra special reason to say Thank You Grandads...

10 November 2005

Fancy a shag??

'Alright Merys, looking good! Fancy a shag??'
Well, when you put it so eloquently, how on earth could a girl possibly resist?
Yep, you guessed it, one of my ex's appeared in the bar tonight, and he still hasn't managed the art of seduction. It barely worked when I was seeing him, so it certainly isn't going to 2 years later. Dear dear.
Anyway, I've had a rejection today. One of the universities that I had applied to for Paramedic Sciences has rejected me without an interview. Apparently this happened on the 4th November. I'm contemplating giving them a quick phone call to try and get some constructive feedback, but part of me says not to bother.
I've actually just started organising some more ambulance service based work experience here, just so I can get a better insight. I'm presuming the previous experience, of 4 jobs across two 12 hour shifts isn't necessarily a good representation of the career I am applying for, and I don't want to look like a moron at (potential) interview, if I should have little work experience. Hope that made more sense to you than it did to me.

08 November 2005


I partially retract the previous post. Upon investigating the stampede outside my flat, I found 9 students playing 'tig'.
I'm going out to work, and I don't care what they do while I'm there if they're going to make a liar of me

An introduction to life

While I am well aware that many people view students as being a complete waste of space, and useless to everybody, I feel I have to defend us as a demographic group. Yes, I am aware that I have done stupid 'student' things, such as being around when road cones were stolen etc. To be honest I've never brought one back to my place, if only because they smell of tramp urine and contain many spiders. Why in heaven's name anyone would want one on their head, I have absolutely no idea......

Anyhow, back to my point.
I've seen this a lot this year - home sickness.
Amongst the bravado and overdrafts, there is a degree of uncertainty when first coming to university. It's the fastest way to learn how to live on your own, and a complete culture shock to many - including myself.
In honesty, I never felt home sick until my third year, and why it hit me then I have absolutely no idea... Unfortunately, home sickness can hit some people so hard that they don't make it until christmas, and I have already had 7 students leave since the start of the term. In some instances, it can be worse, and self-harm and social exclusion happen. That's the point at which I usually intervene, with varying degrees of success.

University does teach you some useful things, like separating coloureds and whites in the washing machine, how to iron (a fading skill, I must admit), and what cheap meals you can make from and egg, 3 different types of pasta, and an onion.
University isn't just about beer swilling and getting laid, it's about the life experience. Frankly, I don't care what people think about students, the morons get what they deserve in a crap degree classification and a job in McDonalds.

That's my two'penneth for the day

02 November 2005

Random musings

Following in Barbados Butterfly's footsteps, I am apparently:

Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You?


'Putting your appointed path ahead of any inner conflicts, you make your own rules for the benefit of all.
If my life or death I can protect you, I will.'

Well, it's always interesting to find something new out in life. Didn't guess that I was a middle earth king of men did you?? Worried?? (I am....)