Shitty

My eyes were prickling with hayfever and dust before the tears came. Lacking dignity, removing my glasses and crying on the bus. Making a spectacle of myself as usual - typical Merys.

I'd been phoning my family all day to see how She'd got on at the hospital with my Aunt, but no news had filtered down the family telegraph system.

The news came through as I was sat on the bus heading home. It was a tumour - unknown to be malignant or benign, and taking 2 weeks to gain any further information. She's fought cancer before, and was due to get the 'all-clear' this year, 8 years after previous treatment. This time it's different. Different location. Worryingly, the suggestion I've heard is for a full body scan to rule out other tumours.

The telephone calls sombre all afternoon, comforting my mother while expected to be the fountain of all medical knowledge - but I've not been given more than scant information myself. Feeling terribly useless, and just wanting to be at home.

My mother said She'd arrived home if I wanted to call Her. Selfishly, I couldn't - too afraid to cry down the phone and upset Her. She's a tough old bird.....

Last year I ran the Race for Life for Her - in support of her defeating the disease. Now it's come back and reminded us we're all mortal again. Please let it be benign.

She's My Grandmother, and I love her dearly. Please protect over Her.