Brilliant Tips for Budding Bar Staff - #1 Dress Code

Following in the footsteps of Barbados Butterfly's brilliant 'tips for surgical interns', I thought it would be interesting to do a similar thing for my line of work.

Please read and recite, for there will be questions at the end:

1. Dress Code

My bar is pretty flexible about my uniform - I just have to wear the T-shirt they provide, and sensible covered footwear. The rest of uniform up to me.

Please note; you will be covered in the worst cocktail in the world after a busy shift. Your best faded jeans and white top will not leave work the same colour they came in. I have a pair of 'well-worn' bar jeans, and as a mark of experience they have Guinness and blackcurrent stains all down them.

Also expect to be covered in beer from your colleagues, the customers and random exploding bottles.

Bear in mind also, that if you have long hair it is wise to tie it up at work (again, not compulsory in my bar). You will learn that Sambuca is not nice in your hair.

Curious

I know that this was published on Saturday, but I've only just found it today.

It's been suggested that Bruce Lee died of complications of Epilepsy, and not from a drug reaction as was previously thought. See here.

I find this really interesting on a couple of different levels- I'm both a martial artist, and have a degree in biomedicine. But maybe I'm just nosey!

Merys

Stop

I mean it, stop lurking. Even just once, pop a comment in the box and say hi! I know you're there.
Merys

Educated Conversation

Take 3 medical students and a human health masters student who haven't all been in contact since graduation.

Add generous amounts of wine, tequila, cider, tart-fuel (alcopops), Pimms, cocktails and Red Bull. (allow for food if hungry)

Incubate around a table, briefly pausing for ice-cube fights.

Observe behaviour and eavesdrop on conversation. "New rescusitation guidelines...bilateral breast reduction.....stool samples....tuberculosis"

As you may have guessed, we aren't your normal first year students. Our drunken conversation still relates to health and disease - although the conversation ends up in the 'health and disease gutter' - very quickly, discussing nasty ailments and minging things that we've read. Nice.

It's nice to catch up with them though, especially since I haven't seen them since last July. And if I have a headache today, I worry for the rest of them.

Oh, and the lemon - it ended up in my handbag at some point last night, after it had been down my top. I can't quite remember where it came from, but I suspect it wasn't bought.

Nevermind, it will come in useful for pancake day next week.

A question of balance

And who says students don't know how to study?

As my mother always says:

"Everything in moderation"

For tonight I may do more drinking than studying, but hopefully not.

Just the sort of mood I'm in

Thanks to Kal for pointing this site out on his blog. Don't you just love the way it nicely co-ordinates with the colour of my site!

I wouldn't normally ask, but......

If there are any paramedics, technicians or any other Ambulance service or NHS staff with any vague interest in writing, and helping a student in need, then please get in touch because I very desperately need help.

Let's just say impending paramedic interview that requires an essay (which I haven't yet completed!)

Please help a student in need!!

Merys

So much to do, so little time

I guess the title sums this up. I have a hellish week ahead of me in preparation for the impending doom of paramedic uni interviews. Not to mention coursework in for uni! I'm having an inner battle with myself not to sit down and rock back and forth at the moment. I'm brutally aware of having a barrowload of work to do, yet very little time to do it.

Must keep calm, chilled and mellow. And get on with some work

(By the way, the left cup found it's way home)

Technical difficulties.

Can anyone see a problem with the picture on the left? (Hint: look at the arrow).

Now I'm not entirely sure why either my washer or dryer decided to take exception to my bra, but one thing's for certain: it won't be fulfilling it's job in life.

What's more worrying is that I can't find the other half of it. It isn't in my wash bag, and it isn't in my flat. I don't remember seeing it in the dryer either, or the washer. This means that potentially someone else has half my bra too! Maybe I should put up a reward poster for my right cup??

Maybe I should embrace amazonianism and hack my right breast off. That would save the trouble of buying a new bra at least.

(So you see guys, you've all seen my underwear now, whether you wanted to or not!)

Apologies

Sorry for the lack of posting in the last couple of days, but I've not been feeling too clever. I think the stress may be getting to me, as my back has been really painful. I think I also managed to give myself low level food poisoning from a dubious chicken omelette I made. Still, I said I needed to lose weight and now I have. On the plus side, because I didn't know whether the D&V was viral or food poisoning at first, no-one used my mug in the kitchen at uni. Always nice.

I've also had an unusual day due to Tramadol. I actually don't know how I managed to go shopping after lectures today because I really wasn't with it at all. I reckon people must have thought I was pissed because there's no way I was walking in a straight line. I also fell asleep on the bus and only just woke up because my phone rang!

(I've just realised that the tramadol probably had a more potent effect than normal because I was dehydrated and hadn't eaten.)

In other science-y news, it's a really good job that I don't use needles in my lab. Sticking a blood filled micropipette tip in your hand is very unlikely to break vinyl gloves, never mind skin. Needless to say, this is probably the very reason they don't allow me to play with needles.

(Interviews looming)

The plan of action.

So, the plan of action for tonight is as follows:

1. Extract Pro-Plus from the bottom of my rucksack.
2. Take Pro-Plus with large mug of coffee.
3. Put washing in.
4. Wash dirty plates and cups up*
5. Remove clutter from desk and floor.
6. Start to do some more work.
7. Break for Desperate Housewives (possibly time for more Pro-Plus and/or coffee)
8. Tidy up sofa and return to study.
9. (Potentially bollock students if they play up.)
10. Write essay on qualities required to be a paramedic (Must not be sarcastic, therefore = very hard to write).
11. Crawl into bed sometime tomorrow morning

I love being nocturnal.

* just don't ask me how long they've been in the sink for, OK?

Bugger

This could potentially be a problem. Is anyone else getting slightly worried, or is that just me?

For all I work in human disease, this matter has been conveniently ignored by all academic staff who teach me!

In other news, I think that the smoking ban is a fabulous thing. As a bar maid in a very busy bar, I'm fed up of my eyes burning by the end of the night. Not to mention coughing at customers, and having to scrape cigarette ash out of glasses before washing them.

Hurrah!!

PS: as you can see, students do know what mornings are!

Rainy days and Tuesdays???

I don't know why but I'm still in a foul mood. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the fact that my sunday headache is still here 2 days later. Maybe it's just me. I don't know.

What I do know is just how easily I'm getting annoyed at the moment; be it with my students, the people I work with, customers, loved up men buying late roses today, that bus journey at 3.40 (very silly time to use public transport) full of school children ramming my head with their satchels as I sat (is it wrong to swear at teenagers??), or just the weather. Mind you, I am a fool - a body warmer over a jumper is the easiest way to get rained on in the world.

In other events, I had a really interesting - albeit long, lecture on HIV today. Very interesting, but 3 hours may have been overkill I think.

Merys' public service announcement for the day:

Considering the lecture, and the day in question; always play it safe guys and girls!

Rainy Days and Mondays

Bad mood threatening to take over 'pretend' calm exterior.
Back hurting.
Struggling to suffer fools.
Too much work - not enough time or motivation
Angry Merys

Student Debt

I presume that this image will need viewing in a seperate window. This is exactly how much debt I am in from my BSc degree. This does not include the money for my Masters, or the debt I owe my parents.
The worrying thing is the constant addition of interest - at around 3% until I start paying it off.

The thing is - I won't start paying it off until I earn more than £15,000 per year. The rate I'm going at that won't be for another 3 years at least - possibly 5 years depending on which degree I do next (if any).

So, if there are any wealthy business people out there, or any well meaning company that would like to sponsor me, give me an email!

Merys (in debt)

Just an idea

I think I may have worked out why I'm tired.

It may possibly, just perhaps be due to the 73 hours of lectures, part time work and work experience I have been cramming into my average week. I haven't included any time I spend in the gym, jogging, studying on a night time or looking after my first years. This is simply uni (lectures, library time at lunch and walking time), working (bar job) and work experience (observing etc).

I mean, it could be something else I suppose.....

Sweet divine pleasures

Ok guys, get your minds out of the gutter. I'm talking about sleep; and more importantly getting enough of it.

Due to recent course work, work experience, jobs and study - I have not been getting anywhere near enough sleep. This had led to me feeling a little *ahem* irritable and upset. In fact certain people who spoke to me on Thursday night will vouch for me being in a terribly foul mood and being a lot more obnoxious than I usually am.

Well today that all changes. I have had my first lie-in since January 7th, and wow, does it feel good! Or at least it would if I didn't have a skull-splitting headache*

*1.5 glasses of wine and a martini on a full stomach before you ask, so it can't be a hangover....I hope

And in other good news...

I've heard good news on two accounts today.

Whilst running around my usual route today I ran into the paramedic I went out with on that call. (I must have scared the poor bloke to death as I yelled at him across the road.) We got chatting and I asked him how the baby girl was doing. Last they had heard she was still in hospital - but they think she was getting better. Here's hoping.

I also received a letter today from a university. A university that I had made an application to. An application for medicine. The letter said that I had a place to study there provided I pass my masters.

*Insert loud cheers and whooping here*

A day in the life

0730 - Alarm clock starts to go off

0731 - Back up alarm clock also goes off. Turn both alarm clocks onto their 9 minute snooze cycle and return to bed.

*wash rinse and repeat until around 0835*

0835 - Get out of bed, disable both alarm clocks and answer telephone from parents to make sure I am out of bed. Brush teeth, wash face, straighten hair, get dressed.

0925 - leave flat without breakfast. Have forgotten to eat so grab a nutrigrain en route into uni.

0945 - arrive in uni with plenty of time for 2 cups of coffee and some pro-plus.

1000 - have lecture on TB and HIV

1045 - coffee, email check and chat in between lectures

1100 - computer session on TB prevalence worldwide

1245 - start of lunch period. Check emails and keep up with correspondence and coursework. Generally chill until afternoon lecture sessions.

1400 - lectures until 1630

1630 - start to leave uni to walk home. Realise halfway home that I have carted used library books around all day and they need to be returned by 1700 otherwise I will be fined. Start to walk back to library

1653 - Get to library with smug grin on face, remember I haven't got my swipe card on me and cannot get into library. Beg with entry man to let me in. End up compromising that he will give them back for me.

1659 - Join the throngs of first years walking back to halls. Plug iPod in ears loudly to drown out aimless chatter from freshers about alcohol consumption. Neglect to hear police car on sirens while crossing a pedestrian crossing. Turn iPod down to avoid any repeat.

1730ish - arrive back at flat to large amounts of paperwork regarding my first years and damage they have done to fire extinguishers. Curse first years loudly.

1735 - call corridor meeting to discuss damage. Suitably chastise students and tell them that they will be fined if they don't name names. Hold out no hope for identification, but it's not my damage deposit.

1745 - put head on pillow to try and sleep. Sleep for 25 minutes before phone rings. Discuss day's events with parents, then get up and have quick shower.

1910 - realise with sadness that I am in work at 1945 and quickly dry and straighten hair.

1947 - Sneak into work unnoticed. Pretend that I was on time

2000-2300 serve 3 glasses of wine, 11 snakebites and black, 4 pints of bitter, 21 pints of lager, 43 shots, 17 bottles, 3 pints of Guinness, 7 double vodka red bulls, 11 soft drinks. Multiply this figure by the 7 bar staff who are in. Observe redecoration of bar by drunken prat and his stomach contents - manage to avoid cleaning it up.

2345 - have another shower to remove beer, smoke and scum from body and hair.

0130 - eventually crawl into bed post-study.

I am 1!

Do I really need to say anything more??

and to think....

...that a year ago on this night, a drunken arrogant man at my students union building managed to wind me up so much that I started blogging.
...that before November 2004 I didn't even know what a blog was.
...that I feel proud that I have had over 5000 hits in that time. Not as high as some people, but I feel proud.
...that I have made some amazing friends under my pseudonym, and some that I will hopefully keep for life

...that I still don't know what I want to do!

Magic Tricks

Did I ever mention my amazing skills?? (no - not those skills, get your mind out of the gutter!) I mean the skills where I can turn a reasonably sober human being into a rude arrogant twat? Yes, it is all my fault.
But I do practice responsible bar skills - honest.

Tonight I actually walked away from serving a customer because he was too cocky and arrogant. His attitude works fine with some of the bar staff - but being called babe and winked at by a drunken fool kind of rubs me the wrong way. Especially when reference to my chest is made.

I also learnt tonight that some music is completely incompatible with a busy bar; Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex for example. Combination of this song with crowds of people holding glass recepticles usally ends with said receptacles on the floor - potentially followed by flying fists over spilled drinks. Quite funny to watch the bouncers settle that one.

In other news, it's coming up to my first birthday in a couple of days. It's all his fault.

Oh, and not to forget

Pinch and a punch and all that jazz.

Quite frankly, you should be suprised

Considering what I do for study, you would be really nastily suprised by what my coffee mug looks like.

We have a communal kitchenette for the guys on my course, and we all use it to death.

If you saw the state of the sink, microwave, mugs, cutlery - you'd wonder how we weren't permanently ill. I feel that a late new year's resolution is in order.

In fact, my mug hasn't been washed properly since November, and I think it has someone else's lipstick stains on it.

Or maybe, just maybe this is why I have a strong immune system