Mellow

If I didn't know better, I would swear my iTunes and iPod were actually attuned to my mood. I'm very chilled and mellow today, and we've had Eels, Counting Crows, Savage Garden and REM. I'm happy.

When the doctor offered me Prozac, my iPod (on random) played Oh Happy Day by Lauryn Hill, I'm On My Way by The Proclaimers (only works if you know the words) and Feeling Good by Muse. Rather randomly, it also selected the Benny Hill theme as I left the surgery. Now that made me smile rather a lot.

Anyway, with the end of my thesis looming (and I'm gonna hand it in early because it's nearly done), I shall return to my glass of wine and Santana, which has just come on.

Mellow Merys

Not fit for human contact.

I'm feeling a little abrasive at the moment towards the general public. It probably wasn't wise therefore, for me to brave the supermarket on a busy Saturday afternoon. Maybe it was the thug baseball cap I was wearing - who knows. But I certainly had (to quote my mother) a cob on with a lady at the till. She had stuck her trolley into mine and rammed it further down the till, and then couldn't wait for me to pack my stuff on the self-scan tills, so I may have been a tiny bit rude with her. In fact, more than a tiny bit........

Today I have a dilemma - England Match or Canadian Grand Prix? Decisions decisions....

EDIT: thank god for no penalty shoot out - I could have watched both (had I not fallen asleep through the race)

ew

ew
Originally uploaded by merysjones.

I'm sure this is very, very, very wrong - but it didn't stop me from eating it.

Demoralised

I've been away from the computer for the last few days, so no blogging.
My deadline for my thesis is looming ever closer, and I'm really struggling to find the motivation right about now. I'm having to fight a really big part of me to even finish it, and it shouldn't be that way. I've had a couple of ventures away from the flat to help clear my head, and I even went to the beach on Monday, which would have been more pleasant had it not rained.
Unfortunately, the combination of the miserable weather, still not getting strike exam results back, having a cold and getting all the commentary on my thesis back is making for a very miserable Merys. I want it all to be over now.

The Muppet Matrix

Ok, I think I may be officially addicted to YouTube now. This video combines 2 of my favourite visuals - puppets and martial arts! Enjoy. (feel free to comment)

Genetics

A Family Portrait
Originally uploaded by merysjones.

Isn't it nice when the undesirable aspects of family genetics catch up with you?

I have always been lucky with my height - both my parents are under 5ft5, while I stand at between 5ft6 and 5ft7, happily. We presumed that this was due to my mothers siblings being very tall, and her being a midget. Recessive genes etc = a Merys taller than her parents.

Sadly, it would appear that I have inherited more than just my Aunt's height. She also went grey very very early in life - and I've just found another 3 grey hairs.

My my, how my mother laughed - she didn't go grey until she was in her 40s.

Obviously, being good to my hair and not colouring it since February is not paying dividends. I think it's time to break out the hair dye....

Evolution of Dance

I was directed to this video, and it reminded me of so many weddings I have worked at or attended.

Apparently............

Your Style is 1950s

High heels, pretty dresses, classic makeup... You're a feminine beauty who knows how to play up her assets!

What Decade Matches Your Style?

Traditional Chinese Medicine

Traditional Chinese Medicine
Originally uploaded by merysjones.

Well, I have been the amazing pincushion lady again today, and this is the result.

For anyone wondering or worrying that is the result of the acupuncture, no, it's not. This is caused by cupping, a chinese therapy used to draw blood to the surface of the skin (didn't really ask why - something to do with toxins I think).

For some strange reason, 2 of my 36 needles today went in my hands. That was a most unpleasant experience because it was inbetween the knuckles of my index and middle finger, and it felt quite deep.

I didn't enjoy it today (not that I usually do), but rather felt abused. Not in any seedy kind of way, just in the beaten up kind of way. His massage is painful!

Ah nuts!

I made a terrible mistake. A really really horrible one.
I promised I would never do it again. I would not allow myself to become addicted once more. I thought I had beaten it..........but to no avail.
I have become hooked on Big Brother again.

I can't believe the immature level of bitching, stealing and general ho-ness in the house. I have a very long fuse, but I would have exploded by now in that house. I love Richard, I think he's great - reminds me of some friends of mine...........

So tonight I am not going to fall asleep through Lost. I am going to eat ice cream and do some more dissertation.

...and the living is easy.

The single best thing about summer? Being able to close the curtains and do everything naked. It's just too damn hot.

Realisation

I'm hiding in a corner of the library on a borrowed laptop writing this. The library is the only cold place to be today - as the weather here is far too warm. I've been sent a wonderfully useful piece of software for anonymous blogging - Torpark is a program that runs off portable firefox and connects via another IP (something to do with Proxy but I don't entirely understand it). As far as I'm concerned, it works and that's all that matters. (Yesterday I was apparently blogging from Colorado - I wish!)

I'm kind of coming to the realisation now that I may well be going to medical school - the only thing that's bothering me now is the lecturers strike.
'But wait!' I hear you say, 'the lecturers strike has ended!'
And I know this, and that's what's causing the problem. I'm sat here nervously waiting for a result from an exam I took in the middle of the strike and worrying lots about what will happen if I have failed it. You see, the exam didn't go very well and my coursework wasn't all that fabulous. I had to take time off for university interviews and I think I may have slightly messed it up. The issue comes over a resit - if I have to resit it will be while I'm trying to finish off my dissertation which I need to really concentrate on. It seems such a shame to fail my masters at the very last moment, when I've passed all the other modules on the course for the rest of the year. Not only will I have failed to get into medicine again, but I will have wasted the best part of £6000 in the process. My parents will never speak to me again.

On the slightly more positive side, I will be training to be a paramedic (my reserve offer), and I will happily step into that role (I think). If I don't make medicine this time around I won't be trying again.

3 times a lady, so they say, and this lady is quitting after this try.

Grey

Originally uploaded by merysjones.

I thought I would include this picture in recognition of the impending football. This was sat waiting on my keyboard the last time I went home, and he is incredibly cute.
Personally, I'm not a football fan - I will be watching the British Grand Prix on the weekend, and may potentially watch the football if invited by friends.

The 'Grey' title represents my mood at the moment. I'm concerned about the bones in my neck - and what that means 10 or 20 years down the line. I've stopped taking the dosulepin again because I spent all of yesterday in bed. I got up at 12.30, had a shower, blogged, watched Neighbours, Doctors, Diagnosis Murder (while eating pizza), then went back to bed for an optimistic 20 minute power nap. I woke up at 6.15 and ate the rest of the pizza before heading to work at 8.00.

I can't carry on like this - I'm getting no work done whatsoever (except last night at 1.00AM onwards)

Today I feel fresh as a daisy due to no TCAs, but very uncomfortable with my back. It is, however, the first time I have sat in the library and done work in months. I feel kinda good for it, yet kinda guilty that I didn't do this before.

It's less than a month to my deadline and I'm still less than halfway to my word limit - which is a bit depressing.

Nevermind, I'm sure my mood will lift when I get some more work done and take some painkillers. :-)

What the.....?!...........

Do you ever get that feeling that something has happened you don't understand?

Sit back little children while I recount my tale..........

So, 2.30am arrives and our intrepid blogger Merys starts to feel the gravitational pull of bed. Yawning, she switches off the computer (forgetting to defrag it - doh!) and crawls off under the duvet. Satin pajamas are the attire of choice due to the alarmingly warm weather, and it isn't long before she reaches slumberland.

All is well, she does not dream, and awakes early in the afternoon. It is with interest that she realises that she has been 'doing stuff' whilst asleep again. Namely, adding extra clothing to her person. Merys is now wearing a bra, under her pajamas, that she certainly didn't go to bed wearing.

How does she keep doing this, and what in the name of all things holy posesses her to add clothing while asleep? Was she concerned that her cleavage was not getting adequate support while sleeping? Who can tell.

Merys certainly doesn't know!

Equilibrium

Today I have (yet again) been to see the doctor. I had to go and get the results from my X-Rays taken a few weeks ago.

It's a combination of good and bad news. My thoracic and lumbar spine (middle and base of my back) are showing no damage of any kind, meaning my pain is possibly muscular. A lifetime of hotwater bottles and hot baths awaits me!

My neck X-Rays showed signs of damage. Apparently I have wear-and-tear of the vertebrae and muscle spasm that was obvious on the X-Ray (!?). I've been told that it isn't uncommon for people my age to have some degradation in at least one joint, especially if they play sports (ahem), but it's not exceptionally common to have painful symptoms at my age. Great, just great. And the plan of action is to carry on increasing the TCA on a night until I get to 75mg (or can no longer get up in a morning).

In unrelated news, I am also the proud owner of an inner ear infection and a build up of wax. I plan to become familiar with some anti-emetics (stop the sicky feeling), cotton wool and olive oil. Apparently it will clear away on its own, but not before more people have looked at me oddly for not walking in a straight line!

Sex and the City

After Merys' Big Night Out (M.B.N.O.) the girls stayed at my place, crashing on the sofa bed together, bless them.
Saturday morning saw us all woken up early by my phone and then saw all 3 of us piled on the sofa bed comparing morning breath, hangovers and memories of the previous night.

I miss the girls,I really do. Sure, I have female friends and gay friends, and even the occasional straight male friend - but nothing beats lying around in your (sometimes scanty) PJs and discussing the opposite sex.

After finally prising them out of bed and towards the bathrooms we headed out shopping and for a bite of lunch and some fresh air. Leela was feeling (and looking) incredibly green, while Sarah and myself took some pity on her.

Poor Leela!*

So, the general consensus was that a Golden Arched burger was in order to replenish sugar and fat levels.

The dinner conversation consisted mainly of my ex-boyfriend and his idiotic tendencies, who'd been chatted up by who the night before, and various other girly stuff.

It would have been exactly like Sex and the City, except exchanging the surroundings, beverages, attire and food. Kinda SATC for the Northern Bird


*(self inflicted - no sympathy)

Life's little mysteries

Why is it that whenever you prepare for a night out with the girls, and despite not having done it for months, you manage to carve holes into your legs while shaving? Both legs!

Indifference

My apologies for not updating, but I've been wrapped up in my own little world for the last few days. Working in t'bar combined with my dissertation and being at home has left me confused as to what day it is.

After Monday's post I fell to thinking why this was suddenly important to me. I realised that the reason I'm concerned about my indifference is because I'm about to change universities again. I guess I'm worried that I'll end up abandon all here for a goal that I don't ultimately know if I want. The thing that worries me more (and no offence to medical students here) is my medical school friends who used to be on BioMed with me now no longer keep in touch with me - despited my efforts to try and stay in contact.

Is this course gonna turn me onto a path I'm already heading down on my own?

In a drunken moment this week (and apologies to anyone I ranted at on MSN on Tuesday night about this) I decided that I wasn't fit or capable of doing medicine and I was going to fail all the exams on the course. And that I wasn't sure if I still wanted to be a paramedic. Deep down I still don't think I know.