26 October 2006

Why? Why? Why? (am I here...)

I will apologise in advance....it's unlikely that this post will make a great deal of sense given that the time it's published is in fact accurate.

Picture the scene. It's 05.10 and you haven't slept properly since trying to get sleep at 02.20. The reason - every part of your body hurts. Not excrutiatingly so, just a feeling of extreme bruising and a kind of post-exercise pain. With particular reference to parts that are touching a surface (i.e. anything that touches the bed) and with extreme pain down the spine. Imagine waking up (having been sleeping flat on your back) and having pins and needles in all four limbs without any pressure on them. Imagine trying to sleep through this, and having already taken the most painkillers you can.

Imagine that this is the 4th night in a row that this has happened, and during that time only 1 night was uninterrupted due to taking Amitriptyline (a drug which you hate so severely but felt forced to take by your GP because he said you were being stubborn). Imagine falling asleep in a lecture the morning after taking the amitriptyline and waking to be ridiculed by your peers, and feeling guilty for missing the majority of an important lecture.

Imagine that you haven't taken amitriptyline earlier tonight because tomorrow is an important day of lectures and are currently incredibly worried about falling asleep irrespective. But imagine also that you are still in pain, shaking and cannot get comfortable enough to even try again to sleep. Imagine that you have even tried the floor, and are about to settle for sleeping upright because the pain in your back is less.

Imagine you expressed your concerns to your GP (although admittedly crying your eyes out through exhaustion) and being told to return in no less than 2 weeks because he doesn't have your notes and doesn't see how he can help you, and leaving with a prescription for a drug that you neither want, nor liked taking in the past.


How do you feel??

More importantly, how do you think I feel.

Rant over

2 comments:

Carmelo Alongi said...

Um. In one word? I go for pissed (off). Sorry you're hurting Merys. Sends e-hugs.

Jo said...

I was going to go for pissed off, but I've been beaten to it! Hope you're having a better weekend than week. Try seeing a different doctor? I don't know if that would help or not.