16 February 2009

Space and time

I started taking them again.

2 a day, just like before. Nothing different yet, but no chance to kick in really.

I was starting to lose determination to leave bed. Just like before.

The thing I haven't done is make a doctors appointment. I'm horribly sure I'll put it off until I need more tablets, and then I'll probably try and get away with a repeat prescription.

The other thing concerning me is my recent ill health. I'm still not 100% healthy. Around 68% if I'm truthful.  More healthy than not. More good days than not.

The problem is that I recently failed an exam when I wasn't well. The med school will probably want to speak to me about it. It's been suggested I take the year out and intercalate etc. 

I don't want to intercalate. It's giving up for me. It's the right decision for some people, but not for me. The failing of an exam had more circumstances around it than I can talk about here, but I really don't want to sit on the bench until September and start over. 


hospital lab tech said...

I'm sorry this has hit you again. Don't feel at all bad about needing the pills - people don't feel 'bad' about taking pills for other medical conditions, and this is no different.

I hope you've been able to talk to your tutors about the problems surrounding the exam and I hope they have been sympathetic.

Take it easy on yourself xx

rachel arata said...

Okay, so I found you're blog because I just googled "do you ever feel like a drain on society." I quickly realized, even though you are across the pond we have quite a bit in common, and I am so glad you have written and are still writing this. I am an only child, who semi-recently graduated law school. And I have failed the bar...3 times. And there were circumstances (health) surrounding each one, well except perhaps for the last...besides my extreme anxiety/depression. Anyways, this is the fourth time. ugh. I feel like I want to explode with my list of whines and complaints that are making me feel like a horrible person, and like I won't be able to do it again.

What is absolutely dreadful is the fact that failing has stalled me from getting a paying job. I graduated in May 2011. The money I took in loans is gone, and they are asking for it back. I am a HUGE burden to my parents, and I am 26. This isn't what I prepared to be.

I got sidetracked, but I just wanted to thank you for providing some reassurance.