16 February 2009

Space and time

I started taking them again.

2 a day, just like before. Nothing different yet, but no chance to kick in really.

I was starting to lose determination to leave bed. Just like before.

The thing I haven't done is make a doctors appointment. I'm horribly sure I'll put it off until I need more tablets, and then I'll probably try and get away with a repeat prescription.

The other thing concerning me is my recent ill health. I'm still not 100% healthy. Around 68% if I'm truthful.  More healthy than not. More good days than not.

The problem is that I recently failed an exam when I wasn't well. The med school will probably want to speak to me about it. It's been suggested I take the year out and intercalate etc. 

I don't want to intercalate. It's giving up for me. It's the right decision for some people, but not for me. The failing of an exam had more circumstances around it than I can talk about here, but I really don't want to sit on the bench until September and start over. 

2 comments:

hospital lab tech said...

I'm sorry this has hit you again. Don't feel at all bad about needing the pills - people don't feel 'bad' about taking pills for other medical conditions, and this is no different.

I hope you've been able to talk to your tutors about the problems surrounding the exam and I hope they have been sympathetic.

Take it easy on yourself xx

rachel arata said...

Okay, so I found you're blog because I just googled "do you ever feel like a drain on society." I quickly realized, even though you are across the pond we have quite a bit in common, and I am so glad you have written and are still writing this. I am an only child, who semi-recently graduated law school. And I have failed the bar...3 times. And there were circumstances (health) surrounding each one, well except perhaps for the last...besides my extreme anxiety/depression. Anyways, this is the fourth time. ugh. I feel like I want to explode with my list of whines and complaints that are making me feel like a horrible person, and like I won't be able to do it again.

What is absolutely dreadful is the fact that failing has stalled me from getting a paying job. I graduated in May 2011. The money I took in loans is gone, and they are asking for it back. I am a HUGE burden to my parents, and I am 26. This isn't what I prepared to be.

I got sidetracked, but I just wanted to thank you for providing some reassurance.