Because I'm a good little girl.

I'm on my second nightshift in a row and my body is feeling it quite substantially.

Last night I was tired before I hit the ward. I'd been pulling late nights and early mornings to get coursework in, and doing a MAU shift wasn's the best choice in the world, but it was the only option available through the bank so I took it.

Tonight I'm on a more sedate ward. More leisurely and calm. I am avoiding the Q word as all hell will let loose if I so much as type it, let alone speak it.

So far I have started my PBL and am soon to do some reflective journally type stuff as well. I'm aiming to be productive tonight.

I'm also aiming to be up at around 3pm later today, but I'm not convinced that will happen. I have a new phone and keep sleeping through the alarms on it.

Space and time

I started taking them again.

2 a day, just like before. Nothing different yet, but no chance to kick in really.

I was starting to lose determination to leave bed. Just like before.

The thing I haven't done is make a doctors appointment. I'm horribly sure I'll put it off until I need more tablets, and then I'll probably try and get away with a repeat prescription.

The other thing concerning me is my recent ill health. I'm still not 100% healthy. Around 68% if I'm truthful.  More healthy than not. More good days than not.

The problem is that I recently failed an exam when I wasn't well. The med school will probably want to speak to me about it. It's been suggested I take the year out and intercalate etc. 

I don't want to intercalate. It's giving up for me. It's the right decision for some people, but not for me. The failing of an exam had more circumstances around it than I can talk about here, but I really don't want to sit on the bench until September and start over. 

Green and yellow, but definitely not blue.

Over christmas I made a rather subconscious decision to stop taking Fluoxetine. Not particularly wise given it was Christmas time, but as I say, it was subconscious.

I had them with me, I just didn't take them for no particular reason.

I've been managing fine from a drop of 40mg to 0mg, yet the last two weeks seem to have pushed me too far.

I'm starting to recognise where I was in the first year when I started them in the first place, and I'm not sure what to do.

Do I start taking them again or bear it out? Part of me wants to avoid my GP and the 'I told you so' face, not to mention I can't get an appointment for 12 days with my normal Prozac GP.

What would you do?

Merchant Bankers The Saga (it would appear)

Deary me. 

The aforementioned 'Falihax' has breached the Data Protection Act. 

Someone who isn't me, and is in fact my mother went into a branch this morning and was given information about one of my bank accounts.

She went to report a pass book missing that is for one of my accounts (without my permission, but hey-ho) and was told that someone had been making withdrawals against the book. 

My mother and myself do not have similar names. We are not of similar ages (my date of birth is written next to my name) and she did not have the passbook. 

It's nice to know that in the last two days I can make two complaints against the same bank for two entirely different reasons. 

I think I will be moving banks.

MERYS' OPINION: DO NOT BANK WITH THESE GUYS.

Merchant Bankers

*CAUTION: STRONG VERY RANTY PERSONAL OPINION COMING UP - may not in fact make any grammatical sense whatsoever because I'm tired, financially f**cked again and upset.

I bank with a bank based in the North of England. Somewhere in West Yorkshire in fact. Not far from Leeds. Begins with a H... Uses an annoying man with glasses singing crap covers for their advertising campaigns. Recently got bailed out by another large high street bank... Get my gist?

I use their online banking system. A system which has recently shown my accounts to be all fine and in the black, yet I have been charged £35 for a failed payment for something. Now I'm no genius but I consider myself reasonably intelligent. If I've tried to make a payment for £23 and my bank balance is showing as above that, then why the f**k have you charged me £35?!

Despite them arguing that it's not an administrative error I'm still bloody puzzled. I tried arguing my case, they argued back.

Problem being, the payment has bounced (for which I will be charged seperately), the bank will charge me £35, which I can't afford so then I will probably get charged another £28.

The reason for all of this, the particular bank has still not sorted out my new student account because, and I quote the regional manager 'no-one is a student for more than 6 years and you can't have a student account even if you are a medical student'. It took customer services and a lot of crying to get an account sorted, and if that account had yet been activated then the charge would have only been £25. Would they reverse the charge, would they bollocks.

Irritatingly I'd been in and deposited £40 later in the day so hadn't ever gone overdrawn (the account wouldn't let me). Had this been Lloyds TSB I'd've been charged nothing (they charge £6 per day overdrawn unauthorised. I would've been overdrawn by 3 hours.)

Moral of this story. This bank does not support students.

DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THEIR £3000 OVERDRAFT THEY WILL NOT SUPPORT YOU - ESPECIALLY IF YOU NEED TO EXTEND YOUR ACCOUNT TO POSTGRADUATE.

I can't believe it....

I missed my blogiversary!!!

On 6th February 2005 I was in the final year of my Bachelor of Science degree in biomedical sciences.

My my how times have changed since then...

It's hard to believe that this blog is now 4 years old and I've developed a hell of a lot as a person in that time.

I've loved and lost friends and family members to old age, relocation and long distance relationships, as well as growing professionally as a medical student.

But roll on another year (I hope) and next time maybe I won't be so caught up in trying to organise an elective* that I might actually remember to blog it at the time.

*whatever. I'll be in personal hell with my elective this time next year. 

Bar vs Hospital

I recently had a shift in the bar that can only be described as unadulterated hell.

To explain...

Text from manager at the end of the night: How was it, takings OK? Good to cash up?

Me: Takings excellent, cashing up fine, Loz and I ready to bitch slap some customers tho...

The bar had been busy, but nothing that Loz and I aren't able to cope with. The problem is the customers; kind of a crucial part of a bar I will admit.

I came across the attitude of 'I pay your wages so I'll do as I want', even if that did include bringing in and consuming their own alcohol into my licensed premises, as well as just being generally rude and ignorant.

What did make me pause for thought was whether doctors get this when they qualify? I know that ambulance service staff do, as I've witnessed it when I've been out observing, and to a lesser extent nurses get it to on the wards... but does the same happen with doctors?

I would be curious to hear thoughts and opinions.

Doctor speak

They say throughout medical school that learning to speak like a doctor is hard. It's trying to talk in a manner which feels very alien at first - not dissimilar to learning a foreign language.

Instead of clotting we speak of coagulation, we can't speak of drugs to thin the blood, we call them anticoagulants. Not the eye, it's the globe in anatomical terms. 

The problem being it's really screwing up my sleep pattern. 

Well, I say my sleep pattern. I'm quite oblivious, but my other half is getting a bit fed up with being woken up by me muttering medical stuff in my sleep. Apparently it's drug names and syndromes at the moment. 

I have no idea if what I'm saying is true, medically correct or even makes sense, but it doesn't surprise me - after all, I have been here before...

Update on previous post

I love love love my housemate.

Knock on the door and a cheery calling of my name. Turns out most of her lectures have been cancelled also.

Wonders if I fancy a lift in to our communal lecture this afternoon cos she can't be bothered to walk.

She is also in a similar state of attire to me... blue sleepwear!

The weather outside is frightful

I love the snow. It's so so very pretty.

I'm not a massive fan of trying to get to places in it though. Especially not when my mode of transport has two wheels and is pedalled by me.

My street is a quiet cul-de-sac and never gets gritted, so ice skating along my road is quite normal here. Needless to say I shall be walking for that bit.

It does make me laugh though, that the age old rule about an inch of snow and the country goes mad, things stop working etc.... yet i've had three lectures cancelled today so far.