*aargh*

*stress stress stress*
I have some exams next week, and start the finals the week after that. I feel like I know nothing, and it doesn't seem to matter how hard I study, I feel that I know no more!!!!
*stress stress stress*
Thank god I don't smoke, it would be costing me a fortune right about now. Hmm, there's an idea, smoking. Might calm me down a bit....

Shit

plink plink fizz

No, the title isn't a reference to a hangover, well certainly not a hangover i'm having, but rather someone else's hangover. I was barmaid at a wedding last night, and there'll be some shockers today, most are deserved.
Why do people treat bar staff like shite? Particularly at a wedding, or the like, when they think they have earned the priviledge to talk to you like dirt, because they've booked a room??? I don't take it from my regulars, and I won't take it from someone who's probably never gonna drink there again anyway. It really riles me that customers do this, along with smoking at the bar; now that's a surefire way of never getting served - ever.
It's nigh on killed me today, on such a beautiful day, to be sitting inside and studying. There's a little bit of grass outside my window, and everyone in the world seems to have been sunbathing.

Intermittancy and the general election

Hey, its that first momentous occasion in life, the first General Election I am eligible to vote in. I mean I've done the local election vote thing, and I did it by Proxy, with my father doing the actual deed, and this time i've elected to go postal, as I wish to vote in my area. One thing's for certain, I won't be voting labour, and you'd be hard pushed to find any students who would, particularly those, like me, who are considering further study. A friend just sent me an instant message telling me that Sky news were taking an alternate view on Tony Blair, and instead of showing all the polished-teeth smiling, they were showing the students protesting at him. I haven't actually checked this story out myself, as I haven't had the chance yet, but it's about time someone showed the world how much students do actually care about important matters like money and welfare, and not just about beer and sex.

This blog is probably going to be very intermittent over the next 4 weeks, as i'm nearing the end of my degree, and have a lot of work to do these days. Sorry, but i can still be reached over email, and I will be checking the comments section occasionally.
M

Currently listening to: Al Green, Tired of Being Alone

Its that time of year

Well, I know I haven't dedicated myself to this blog lately, but frankly, it's been a little difficult. I know people will think that I'm fishing around for compliments, but i get very little feedback from this site, and it makes me wonder if more than about 2 people are even reading it.
Also, i've been chasing my tail a lot with uni and stuff. I've had a lot of lectures, and none of my work is being helped by my being blocked from entering the library, or even getting my uni emails or lecture notes. I mean for God's sake, I paid that bill at the beginning of the week, and I won't be able to do any of the above until next Thursday. It's all a little bit extreme, especially as I have exams in 3 weeks(!). There's no wonder people fail degrees, and suffer from just a little bit of stress, I mean, Jeez. What's the use of having a library full of books and journals, if I can't get into the building to read the bloody things!
I don't think I could be any more stressed at the moment, and if I stop doing work I think i'll drop. All I've been doing is chasing my tail like a rabid dog. I honestly don't know how much longer of this I can take, only to face the rejection of, yet again, not gaining the right marks to get into med school. My ego is still feeling frail from 3 years ago, and I still don't know what I'll do if it happens again. I'm kind of limited this time around. I don't know.
And society wonders why students are stroppy, moody and generally rude. This is why we get a bad reputation, and why we're all spotty - we don't get enough sunlight when sitting in the library.
To add to all my fun and games with uni lately, I've been having some company in bed. I seem to have a small colony of ants somewhere in my flat, particularly around my bed. I keep waking up and finding them crawling across the duvet. They sure do have a death wish.
Anyway, it's 2AM and i've just finished working for the night, so before my back dies on me completely, I'm going to try and turn my brain off and get some sleep, if possible.
Nighty night
M

Hurrah (part 2)

I've done it, well, I mean i've started the wheels in motion!!
Wondering what I'm talking about?? My ball gown of course! I've been and bought the fabric, and gone to the dress maker. I've been measured from every perceivable angle, and I go back next week for a fitting! The grand cost of this, perfectly within my bank balance!!
Unfortunately, this has the effect of giving me a chesire cat grin like you wouldn't believe! *grins*

Currently listening to: Wheatus, a little respect

Hurrah

Well, I'm back at uni now, and, more importantly, back to normal speed internet! Hurrah!

I still can't find the right ball gown, and i've consulted the services of a dress maker, and still not a clue. So, if anyone knows of any nice ball gown websites, please let me know the address, as I could do with some inspiration!

On the negative, I left my flat in such a tip!! I spent most of yesterday tidying up! However, I was eventually persuaded out of the flat by a couple of gay friends, and spent the night in a gay bar, my first gay bar in fact. I really enjoyed myself, I was quite suprised in fact, not because of the gay factor, but the bar isn't very nice from the outside, and was a bit scabby inside. The music was cool though!

M

scary mary!

I've only got 5 teaching weeks of my degree left, and then 5 exams between me and the difference between a failed degree and a 2:1. Believe it or not, the difference is that severe. The problem: I'm resitting 2 modules that I failed last year, and this is my last chance of the degree to pass em, if I fail, well, I don't even want to think about it :(

If anyone is still reading this out of interest, then you can see that i've added my email address to the side bar on the right. Either that, or leave me a comment!

M

Smug

Well, due to an extensive day of revision, I'm actually going to bed with very little study to do before sleeping. I've been in the library for several hours today, and I've had my chemistry tutor round, and done 2 hours of that as well.

The problem comes when I try to go to sleep at a reasonable time (i.e. before midnight), and I find myself wide awake and watching late night television, which is often quite dull. It comes as a direct result of a University lifestyle, whereby I don't often get into the flat until nearly midnight due to having a bar job. This isn't usually a big problem for me, as I start studying when I get in, because its meant to be the quietest time of the day in halls - ah, the 11 o'clock rule!

The only problem I think I'm going to find will be when I go back to uni, as I've now started taking Amitriptyline for my neck, and I can sleep for an eternity now! Usually, starting around 10PM. This could seriously affect my bar work, but it's not like you need to even be awake to work in my bar!

OMG!! They killed Will Curtis (see, I even have time for TV at the moment, just enough time for SuperNanny, and I may even me awake in time to see No Angels, if I'm lucky!)

Bored bored bored

I am very very bored at the moment. It could be down to the fact that I'm going back to Uni on Saturday morning, which means lots of packing and stuff, but back to the grind basically.

On the plus side, I get to go back to my Taekwon-Do club, rather than the one I've been visiting here. Its good to cross-train, but ever so slightly odd in comparison.

On the down side, my knees are hurting like never before at the moment, and were even hurting before I went training last night. I know that some smart arse somewhere will comment that, if my joints are bad, why do I play sports?? Well, Unsuprisingly I do have an answer to that one - if I don't train, my joints seem to lock completely, and even walking is painful. I've been down this track before, and I never want to repeat the experience. At Christmas, I didn't train at all while I was at home, I thought I'd give myself a rest with the knee pain, BIG mistake!
I couldn't sleep due to the pain, and I had to keep stretching out every few minutes to make my knees and hips crack to relieve the pain. I really don't like being reliant on drugs to live my life, but I have never been so thankful for high strength co-codamol in all my life!
Hence why I keep training, because, as soon as I went to TKD it all went away to a degree. See, I have a genuine, medically approved reason for wanting to beat the bejesus out of everything that crosses my path!!

Oh well, tomorrow I go back to the podiatrist to pick up my insoles that should hopefully take the strain off my poor hips. (It turns out that the Irish in me has let me have one leg longer than the other, so with slightly adjusted insoles, my hips might not hurt as much) Here's hoping.
I hate to think what I'll be like when I'm 70......

I think I've wasted my life

I realised yesterday that I only have 5 more taught weeks of my degree, and then I'll have failed to get into med school for a second time. I don't know if I can stand the rejection for a second time.

As I'm sure I've said, I hold an offer for a med school down south, the problem is that they want a 2:1, and at the moment, I don't see it happening. I think I'm gonna get a 2:2, and if degrees were allocated upon wishing for them, i'd be guaranteed a 2:1, and the subsequent place in med school. On the other hand, I still haven't heard from my own university yet, so they've probably rejected me too.

The problem is, I can't see myself enjoying any profession as much as I can see myself enjoying medicine. Maybe I'm just not gifted enough.

...and I still haven't found the perfect dress yet.

that perfect dress

For the life of me, I cannot find a dress for a ball I'm going to at the end of April. You see, I have a problem - I'm skint. Very Skint, and I've resorted to eBay. I mean, its not a complete loss, I have 3 dresses that I could wear, all with their own unique problems - my weight. I can gain a stone and wear my lilac one, or lose 7 lbs and wear the blue one. But then, I've already worn the damn thing in front of the same group of people. Argh!!