The big stigma

Anyone who's read my blog knows that during medical school I suffered from depression.

Yet at work, all the time I hear people dismissing depression and patients with it.

It's at times like this that I like to make people feel uncomfortable. I'm not afraid to point out that depression affects everyone, including doctors.

And yes, I will turn around and point out that since 2007 I have taken anti depressants. And to the people that point out that I don't appear depressed - well antidepressants seem to work for me.

So before you make sweeping statements about depression and mental health problems, remember that not all disabilities can be seen with the naked eye.

Depressed and happy

Jaded

The more time I spend working the more time I wonder if I made the right decision all those years ago.

I nearly started training to be a paramedic, and while I'm not sure that would be a 'better' career choice (given how much grief the ambulance service gets on a daily basis), I can't help but think it might be more satisfying and easier to leave than medicine. 

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I've just got career jaded from working in the NHS for all of 30 months.

I almost wish I'd been an artist or designer now.

Insomnia (again)

This is getting ridiculous now. I have a long Monday ahead of me and I'm wide awake (went to bed at 2230).

It happens a lot and it's like my brain can't switch off.

If it continues for the next few hours I'm going to be exhausted by the morning. I'll have a whole new patient list after the weekend with no idea why they have been admitted.

I'd love to take a duvet day but I'm guessing that would be frowned upon :(

So there's only 2 ways to deal with it - strong coffee and a forced smile on my face. Oh, and lots of makeup!!

PAT dogs

In hospital they have PAT dogs - pets as therapy.

My dog is anything but therapy. He is the reason I am awake now.

This is possibly the best example of why

The first three are 100% accurate, in number 4 the dog would be between my legs and in number 8 it would be me that would be replaced by the dog! He's an evil little shit but I love him to bits. Even if he is the reason that I've been awoken at 0400 on my day off. As a result of which I have left satan's canine offspring upstairs and have relocated to the sofa.

Revenge will be mine - I decide when he gets fed.

Changed plans

The plan for today involved a good night's sleep (in bed at 2230) before a busy day ahead.

The plan was altered by a hyperactive terrier who decided he wanted a toilet visit.

Sadly he then wanted to play. Sadly for him, he then got put downstairs in his crate. Sadly for me I then felt guilty and he's now back on the end of the bed looking smug and plotting.

This doesn't help me with my 3 hour ward round with the grumpiest consultant known to man, who *huffs* at you if you need to have a toilet break of your own.

Ah well, let caffeine be the sponsor of my day to come!