31 March 2008

Urban Bling

Another bracelet I made while on a night shift. Sterling silver chain, tibetan silver charms and glass (I think) pearls.

Any reasonable offer accepted. Looking for a new home.

30 March 2008

Beating the black rottweiler

During the last week I had an appointment with my GP about how I was feeling since the last time I saw him. The last appointment had ended with my crying my eyes out hysterically about how much I had lost control lately following a couple of stressful incidents.

His suggestion was to perhaps double the dosage of fluoxetine and see what happened.

The change in me seemed to creep up and slap me in the face. I'm more organised, more together and laughing a lot more. It's great.....

... except I feel like I've let myself down. I never used to feel this bad when I lived in [old university city], yet this place seems to just ooze depression.

However, in a facebook message with a friend over the past few days, she put it rather nicely. To paraphrase:

Don't be silly, you just need more chemical than before to counteract the pea soup in your head!

And that at least made me laugh some more!

I'm not dead, it just feels like it.

I quite like nightshift work, except for the sleep issue.

Staff I work with seem to have massive problems sleeping during the daytime, and consequently get a severe lack of sleep before starting work at 7pm.

I appear to have the opposite problem, in that I seem to sleep much better during the day than I would otherwise do after a day shift.

Home at 0800 I hop in the shower, stick my uniform in the washing machine and head off to bed. If I remember to set the alarm I'll get up again at lunchtime to take the uniform out and stick it on the radiator and then go back to bed. Otherwise, I'll sleep solidly through.

I've had a few really interesting night shifts lately - apart from having to have my name added to a list of staff who closely nursed a gentleman with suspected TB (and no-one knew about it...). I just hope my BCG will protect me if it does turn out that way...

25 March 2008

A slight hitch

I have a minor concern about my nights this week...

The house next to us has recently been sold, and it seems like the builders are gutting it at the moment.

I arrived back home today to be greeted by the sounds of power tools and hammering.

Unless the builders are cute, the sleep could be a problem this week...

24 March 2008

Going back

Tomorrow morning I'm heading back dahn sarf. Not really looking forward to it. A whole run of night shifts this week (Tues, Weds, Thurs, voluntary stuff Fri, shift Sat and Sun) means that not only will I not eat properly, but I'll become an antisocial hermit too.

Sadly in the middle of all of this I have a GP appointment to discuss the fact that we've upped my antidepressant dose due to my having a massive crisis recently and being no longer able to cope with stuff.

Should be fun discussing that in the middle of when I should be sleeping. I might have to try and change the appointment time methinks.

Time to try and get some sleep, the pattern changes this week.

PS: thanks to all the people who suggested Etsy for selling my jewellery. I've seen it before but am scared that my stuff isn't good enough to sell on there. If anyone wants to buy that bracelet off me, make me an offer!

22 March 2008


This is a bracelet and earrings set I made over a couple of hours. I need some way of selling jewellery I make, but short of eBay (which I haven't had a great deal of sucess with) I'm short of ideas.

If anyone is interested in buying any pieces (proceeds to my education fund) or knows how I can sell them, then please drop me a comment or an email.

21 March 2008

woolly head

Don’t get me wrong, I know where I am, but my head feels more than a little fuzzy.
Self inflicted entirely. All my own fault.

It goes as follows:

Saturday day: work at the outdoor activity centre. Get religiously picked up and dumped on the ground (albeit gently) by the boys. I’ll admit I instigated it by hitting one of them with a stick for sexist comments, but their reasoning on dumping me on the ground? I weigh a lot less now so it’s easier.


Saturday evening: get home caked in mud and leaves. Face and ears covered in black smelly stuff (see above, also caused by boys…). Chase around the house in my underwear trying to get clothing into the washer before a housemate appears. Chatting frantically to other half while trying to removed clothing with one hand in the kitchen. Other half points out that my kitchen window is visible from the main round. I point out that I giveth not a toss. Fail to realise that the house is all mine at the moment and there were no housemates in to dodge. Feel like a pillock. Dance round the house while waiting for the hot water in the shower.

Cook home made beef burgers once showered and dry. Small glass of wine followed by bed for hour and a half. Manage not to fall asleep, which turns out to have been a big mistake.

21.11 leave the house on the bike (in a hoody and jeans. Take note, this is important later…) and cycle into work. Tonight a rave, oh joy.

Finish rave at 02.30 and head out to bike. Discover that the weather is bloody foul and my 6 minute cycle home turns into a 12 minute head wind/rain endurance event.

Get in, throw wet stuff on floor. By the time I’ve reached a horizontal position I’m already asleep.

Sunday: woken up repeatedly through the day by texts and phone calls. One day I really will switch the damn thing off.

Get up at around 13.00 and head for a shower. Spend all afternoon with the other half looking for jewellery making tools. Find some tools but fail to buy a new tool box.

Watch Casualty on iPlayer at his place (doesn’t work on my IP address for some reason) and fall asleep on the sofa under the duvet.

Poked into submission until I finally get up and head back to mine.

Sadly, have to go into work for a nightshift.

Sunday night: Leave house at 18.35 to start at 19.00. Ward from hell, staff quite strange, patients quite demanding. Get shouted at by a 94 year old lady; walk away laughing.

Sometime between then and 0730 this morning I had a 2 hour sleep break, made some more jewellery and did some academic work.

09.00 saw me meeting a lecturer about why I failed an exam. With regards to the exam it seems much clearer now. Shame that the rest of my head hasn’t caught up on the clarity thing.

Currently (14.21) sat at a random train station in the middle of the country listening to Kate Nash on my iPod and trying to stay awake. I don’t know how long it’s likely to last, as my eyes are starting to do funny things.

Have been awake(ish) now for 25.5 hours, and I won’t get to sleep for a while yet….

16 March 2008

And breathe....

I can't be arsed anymore. I'm so glad it's the Easter holidays, but is it worrying that I will be spending 2 out of 3 weeks working without a break?

I will however be spending 8 days in Yorkshire over Easter, which will be a welcome break I suppose. If I can cope without arguing...

13 March 2008

Inner geek

Not that my housemate and I are geeks... but this is the worktop in our spare room

11 March 2008

A chance to relax

Unlike a lot of my friends, I have a few close friends that I've made at this uni who aren't medics.

Mainly PhD students and part-time lecturers who I've met while working in the bar. I love it, I love the chance to breath and relax and do stupid stuff like play Munchkin, Ocean Trader and Killer Bunnies while drinking nice red wine and generally not feeling on edge.

I love being a medical student, but I don't think it should define my personality in a way it seems to do with some of my friends.

Sure, I'm training to be a doctor, but that doesn't mean I have to limit my friends to those in the same career path.

Sometimes you just need to take a step back and breath.

Tonight, I did that.

05 March 2008

And that was that.

I'm going to give up going on hiatus.

I might as well just hide for a couple of days rather than announcing it across the blogosphere.

The weekend came and went. Home to the parents, catch up on the local news.

Weight loss was pretty good this week. I'm now a whole 14.5lbs lighter than I was at the start, which is good.

Finances are still pretty screwed, but more shifts and less library fines should help with that one.

Personal problems seem to have resolved which is nice, and I think I'm going to keep blogging.

Essentially, apart from being as stressed as hell, I've never been better!

01 March 2008

Time out

Moody Merys
Originally uploaded by merysjones
I'm going to vanish off for a while. I shall be having a think about the future of the blog, as things are a tad tits up at the moment. Too much stress, not enough reward. Money is tight again, rent could be a challenge.