31 January 2008

Lack of motivation

I guess it's the time of year of short days and long nights (although I know that's getting better now) that makes me lose motivation for university these days.

I am so physically and mentally tired at the moment. I have hellishly long days at the moment, starting from 5.45AM until 6.30PM when I crawl home, usually to have to crawl back out to work again shortly afterwards.

Thankfully this will only go on for another 3 weeks, but roll on those 21 days. I'm not sure how much more I can cope with...

29 January 2008

Weight loss

Three Weeks, half a stone lighter

25 January 2008


Today I had one of my many medical school appraisals. It's a chance to talk candidly with a tutor about academic and professional performance to date.

I had a 15 minute interview with one of my tutors where we discussed how well I'd integrated within the group.

Now, this would have been fine, except I've been a tad brittle of late. My mood has been a tad unpredictable, and rather unsurprisingly I ended up crying my eyes out to a GP who isn't my doctor, nor to whom I am especially fond. It was a slightly surreal experience to be honest.

I am slightly worried about what he thinks of me now, but the bullish side of me couldn't care less.

These things happen. On the plus side, he thinks I'm doing well and will make a good doctor, so I guess I can't moan.

19 January 2008

Thank you for making me skint.

Dear The Trainline,

Thank you ever so much for blocking funds in my bank accounts. I accept that you haven't actually removed the money, but neither can I.

You see, when I tried to buy train tickets through your website three times, and you said my card had been declined by the bank, then that was what I was expecting to happen.

What I didn't expect was that you would block £121 of my money across 2 bank accounts and therefore make me unable to withdraw any cash.

I especially love your foreign call centre, and just how well all your staff speak English, and especially since you put me on hold for 11 minutes while I was paying for an 0870 call!

Therefore, when you do finally stop trying to take my money, I will be writing to you and seeking refund for my call costs.

Cheers for that.



5lbs loss in first week.

That is all

14 January 2008

New year, new apathy

After PBL today I had a chat with my tutor. My choice, my decision.

I feel as though I'm swimming upstream with the whole concept of Problem Based Learning - or at least how my medical school has interpreted it.

Maybe I'm being just too hard on myself, but I feel as though I'm losing the plot with it sometimes. I feel like I'm missing some of the learning objectives. And don't even get me started on how we present work; that's just one flaming headache after another.

My tutor's advice: stick with it, plan what you want to write (one of my biggest failings..) and only use 2 texts maximum. Apparently using 5 or 6 plus the internet, as I had been doing makes for long and tedious work. No kidding there.

Hopefully it will all suddenly click this week. Otherwise it could be a very long 3 and a half years...

12 January 2008

Slim pickings

I think I like the idea of Slimming World. It's not bothering me too much so far, although the diet is a bit complicated at first.

Last night I cooked for my housemate B and myself. We had a vegetable lasagne followed by a bread, honey and apricot pudding with custard as syns.

Today, I was feeling a little, erm... windy.

Turns out B was too. Today the pair of us have been in different areas all day at uni and haven't seen each other. I got it right in the neck when he got home. Apparently he feels like he's lost weight today too!

At least tomorrow I'm working at the outdoor activity centre, and can fart my way through the forest!

The joys of working in the fresh air!

10 January 2008

New Year's Resolutions

As I promised myself I would lose weight, I've taken the first step and joined Slimmingworld. I was horrified at what I weighed, and vowed to lose more weight than ever before and have a target goal lower than ever.

I've started eating healthier, and I love the way the slimmingword diet seems to work, although the acid test is if I lose weight I guess....

I've added the ticker across the top to help me on my way

06 January 2008

A New Start

The new year's resolutions seem to have started quite well. I did a night shift last night, and during a quiet patch managed to get 1000 words of an essay written up in final copy. I've been good and done all the drafting with friends already.
However, I am being quite thick and doing a night shift tonight on MAU. I'm gonna get zero sleep and probably zero break.
The down side to this is that uni starts again tomorrow....
At least it doesn't start until 12 noon. So I might actually get a bit of sleep first!

04 January 2008

good pain, bad pain

What I'm about to do is gonna hurt. Really hurt.
You may remember I said I had a flesh tunnel. I still have it, and it currently hurts.
It hurts because I'm in the middle of doing my last and final stretch to 8mm. Sadly, nowhere have I found a 7mm stretch or tunnel. Which meant I had to stretch the already taut hole in my ear by 2mm at once. Which hurts.

Now I've got the wonderful job of cleaning it with contact lens solution before I put my final plastic retainer in (a UV reactive one!).

Yes I know, it's self inflicted pain, but that's what makes it good pain!

A little new year's cheer

Just before christmas I had an OSCE. Remember me mentioning those? Exams from hell. It's all about being a performer and knowing your lines and actions.
If you challenged me now I couldn't do the same examination I had to do in the exam, but at the time I was fine. It's performance pressure.

While certain parts of the OSCE went fine, there were a couple of stations that I came out of thinking 'oh bollocks'.

I also had a SSM to do before christmas too, and that went less than well. Actually having to write it was fine, and I knew my stuff. But being Viva'd on it I didn't do so well. Stuff that I knew before going in completely eluded me in the actual assessment.

However, the exam results came out yesterday and I passed them both! I don't know what my marks were yet, but I just know I passed. At least that might give me a kick up the arse to work harder this year and trust my skills a little more!

Now onto the dreaded resolutions:

  1. I. WILL. LOSE. WEIGHT! I've gained a lot of weight since splitting with my ex boyfriend, and I don't like it. As of next Tuesday I'm joining slimming world. I've printed off the first 7 day meal plan and ordered all my food from the supermarket. All is good. I'm aiming to lose at least 2 stones, and anything else is a bonus.
  2. I will study harder and spend less time volunteering. I mean, I love volunteering, but I just don't always get the time to do everything, and my priorities are all the wrong way round sometimes.
  3. I will start sport again. Cycling is fine, and I dread to think how much I would weigh if I didn't cycle everywhere, but I need to do something more active. I miss taekwon do, but sadly can't find a compatible club down here that I like or that I can get to. 20 miles is slightly too far to cycle...
  4. I will hopefully this year dig myself out of debt and get my ISA going again. Realistically I find this unlikely to happen... but one can dream.


Well hello if you came from the Guardian Unlimited pages. What an honour that is for me, and I only discovered it because I read Kal's pages by RSS feed.

Anyway, I'm off to do some more studying on a rare day off, and I'll catch you again during the day at some point I guess!

02 January 2008

The age gap

I'm currently on a normal night shift on a normal ward.* I've already been moved wards once because the ward next to us was busier than us and they needed the help.

I'm currently sat watching a patient in his 70s with severe Alzheimer's disease and a fiesty temperament. Sadly, he doesn't take too kindly to being told what to do, or even asked nicely. He swears, punches and falls regularly. Consequently I have been tasked with keeping an eye on him, which he doesn't seem to like.

I find it frustrating to work in an environment where I can be kicked and punched and have to take it (and believe me when I say, some older people can really hit quite hard), yet equally I can't imagine how difficult and confusing it must be for this gentleman to not have a clue where he is or what's going on, and be asked to do things by a woman young enough to be his grandchild.

Sometimes I find I have compassion when I least expect it. I suppose that's a good thing at least.

*by normal, I mean not MAU or A&E

01 January 2008

Happy New Year - finally

So, instead of drinking myself into oblivion last night, I did the whole skint student thing and actually offered to cover a shift at the hospital. Let's face it, if I can barely afford to feed myself post-christmas, I certainly can't afford to drink myself rotten.

Looking back, hindsight is an amazing thing, and the medical assessment unit (which is where people from A&E often come) probably wasn't the best place to be for new year's eve. On the plus side, I saw a whole barrel load of new things last night.

I spent the actual midnight in radiology with a sick patient. He needed a chaperone and I got delegated. Turns out he had a massive pleural effusion which needed draining. Not only did the radiographer show me the xray and explain it to me, I then had to go help the doctor out (just by passing bits and bobs) when he tapped it. I really am such a geek sometimes. It helps that the patient was absolutely wonderful, when I explained my interest he was more than happy for me to ask questions of the doctor!

I also happened to see my first fit from start to finish. Don't get me wrong, I've seen lots of people fitting, but I've never seen how it starts. I was just heading down the ward from one patient towards the desk when my epileptic patient started to arch his back. It actually took me a minute for the penny to drop. Luckily instinct took over and I pulled him onto his side while simultaneously shouting for help and pulling the alarm. Who says women can't multitask?! This young gentleman had had a complete skinful and become totally paraletic. He'd had 3 or 4 fits in A&E, goodness knows how many before that, and another 2 while I was on the ward. What a way to end 2007 - stripped naked in your own urine being washed by a nurse while post-ictal. Happy New Year!


Don't take this the wrong way, but I really cant be bothered to write a review of the year. I started, and then I got bored, tired and grumpy.

Needless to say it's been a rollercoaster year at medical school, culminating with my almost being kicked out due to fees problems. A problem which you guys all solved for me, and for which I am eternally grateful.

This year I've also had blogging visitors in the shape of Tom Reynolds (twice) and John Robertson (kinda twice). I've also been and visited and stayed with both Magwitch and Laura. According to Reynolds this makes me an ambulance service whore. Which is...erm... nice..

Otherwise, if you want to see what I've been up to, the best thing is to email me or read the archives.

Happy New Year everyone! See you after I sleep.